Nature Blog Network

Friday, September 7, 2007

God Hates Shrimp!







Thats right sinners, on your knees and repent! God Hates Shrimp!

9 These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat.
10 And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:
11 They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination.
12 Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.-Leviticus 11: 9-12
No more shall I engage in an orgy of wholesome shrimp pizza goodness. It was a temptation by SATAN himself! Holly-blew-ya!

* From the websites authors: "As you may have realized, this site is a parody. It is meant to poke fun at people like Fred Phelps, and at people who protest against gay people and gay marriage."

5 comments:

  1. but locusts are kosher. Locust pizza. Mmmmmm....

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  2. Awesome. Clearly the fact I have a shellfish allergy is a message from GOD!

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  3. queer spineless agenda?!?

    damn you, kevin z!!! that's (almost) my line!

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  4. I'm Jewish, my god loves shrimp (or he wouldn't save them and other invertebrates from getting gobbled up by us)

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  5. Badgerminor,locust pizza? how about plague pizza?

    Bug Girl, interesting point. so does God hates peanuts and cow milk too? I know lots of people with lactose intolerance and peanut allergies.

    Rick, I thought about you when I wrote it. I think your line is more the Queer Fishy Agenda

    Meirav, So the Jewish God prefers the lives of shrimp to that of his chosen humans?

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