Nature Blog Network

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

My Acuroscope

The Southern Fried Scientist has created the Acuroscope based on "the much more chaotic and unpredictable movements of terrestrial bodies, careening through life and influencing those around them." It is proven to be "at least as accurate, and probably more so, as conventional horoscopes." Here is mine:

Benign Tumors (March 19 – April 11) – Beards are one of the best things in the world. You more than likely have one. The great beard-way has powerful influence over everyone in the world, especially yours. It is both the number of quality of beards in my immediate area that control your fate. However, unlike beards, which always get checked out, benign tumors rarely do, so in social situations you need to make the first move. Of course, no one is ever happy to see you but always happy to find out you’re harmless.


  1. Using this highly precise method, I predict that you're currently on the second floor of a building with poor air circulation setting up a cloning reaction.

    I base this on one beard of exceptional quality.

  2. The great bearded way! Since the hair was what went without cutting for undergrad, I'm thinking the beard (well trimmed, but never shaved) will be for the MSc. and both for PhD.

    Oh, wait, didn't they used to require men to shave beards off for Alvin?

    (Not that that will necessarily be a problem, but I would love for it to be one!)


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